Boooooooooring

 Its now the 5th day of not hearing from our 700 dollar guide. Did she get captured by Gorillas? did she cause a 78 car pile up? Has she finaly been put in an institution? Your guess is as good as mine. Its also the 3rd day without my family and of being sick. I should clarify sick. Im going to the bathroom 20 times per day you figure it out. It wouldnt be that bad except one problem. The day staff Marlene knows I don't speak Spanish very well so everything is acted or mimed if you will out.(with a medellin flair) Every morning I come down stairs and she asks  how I slept and puts two hands up by her face folded together to indicate sleep. Then she asks if Im still sick. To do this she bends forward pushes her butt out and makes a pssssssssssst sound while motioning back and forth to her butt to indicate whats coming out. If thats not embarassing enough she usually does this in front of the other Hotel guests. Tomorrow sounds like fun too. The Guide is suppose to bring me to the house where Pablo Escobar was killed. I have tried my hardest to explain to her it's in a area called barro medellin. No she insists it;s in a place called la america. In other words I'll just be looking at some guy's house tomorrow.